We all have selfish tendencies and that’s perfectly normal. But, what’s not okay is being selfish all the time. It’s important to remember, especially in relationships, that it’s not just about the needs of one person.
Here are 3 ways to deal with selfish people more effectively.
1. Set Boundaries
This is very important with everyone in your life, selfish or not. Boundaries are crucial to creating, maintaining, and keeping your relationships mutually respectful and supportive. Your boundaries set limits for acceptable behavior, such as how people treat you. If something isn’t acceptable to you, speak up. Let the other person know that certain behaviors are unacceptable to you.
2. Don’t Take it Personally
If someone says you’re being selfish, it doesn’t necessarily mean you are. Sometimes, someone will say you’re being selfish because you’re doing something that’s right for you instead of him or her.
Take notice of each situation in which you’re called selfish and try to determine how you can change how you’re perceived. That’s not to say that you should change for someone else or put his or her needs above your own. It’s just a way for you to learn how certain people perceive your so-called selfishness.
3. Be Consistent
This is important in every relationship as it makes it perfectly clear what your availability is. It’s almost like speaking with children; you have to keep reminding others that there are certain things you’re not willing to do, certain times you’re not available, or certain places you don’t want to go. Don’t be surprise if you have to repeat yourself several times.
Being selfish isn’t necessarily a bad thing, especially if you’re caring for yourself. However, if you’re excessively concerned with yourself and have no regard for the needs or feelings of others, you may have a problem. Be sure to keep things in perspective and don’t be afraid to ask “why” if someone calls you selfish.
Dr. Amanda Itzkoff is trained in Psychotherapy and Psychopharmacology in New York. If you are looking for more information, please feel free to contact us via email. To schedule a consultation, please contact our office at 917-609-4990. .